Monday, January 24, 2005


Sacajewea's Second Journey

I got the following email through the "family grapevine" yesterday from my step-brother Stephen Thomas, and got such a laugh out of it I thought I'd better post it. If you send it along to anyone, please credit Stephen.

Dear family:

Another great adventure in the annals of child-rearing has begun.

Well, we all know, or should know, how the great Indian woman Sacajewea helped guide Lewis and Clark on their famous expedition. She endured much hardship and deprivation on her epic journey. And many of us have seen the commemorative Sacajewea dollar which came out several years back--a gold-colored dollar coin slightly bigger than a quarter.

The Sacajewea coin has been a subject of great fascination to Sofia recently, and when she opened up her piggy bank to get pennies for a school project yesterday morning, she saw a Sacajewea dollar and insisted on carrying it with her, in her pocket, all day. As you all know, Sofia can be a little stubborn about certain items.

Sofia was still playing with the Sacajewea around dinner time. I was making tacos for dinner, Mommy was at work, and all three kids were watching a movie. All of a sudden I heard a gulp, a gasp, and a coughing sound, and then... Sofi's startled voice.

"Where's Sacajewea? Where's Sacajewea? Sacajewea?"

Oh, please, no! I thought.

I ran over, and once I found that Sofia was breathing fine (but holding her stomach and looking horrified), I immediately began searching for Sacajewea. I found nothing on floor. No sign of the Sacajewea coin anywhere.

"Sofia, what happened?" I asked, angry at myself for not taking it away from her earlier, when I had the chance.

"I was trying to do a magic trick. I wanted to make Sacajewea disappear!"

Well, Sacajewea had definitely disappeared.

Sacajewea appeared again on an x-ray, high in Sofia's stomach. She was poised to navigate the dark and perilous, twisting and turning journey through the intestinal tract. That journey is expected to be three days long. Fortunately, no surgery is necessary. The doctor was not worried once he determined that Sacajewea was not obstructing anything, and had not gone into the lungs. Apparently, the doctor had seen much bigger things make this three-day journey, including entire matchbox cars, which came out the other side of the "tunnel" without any problem. He sent Sofia and Chris back home--with a pile of surgical gloves, which I get to use when I look for signs of Sacajewea in the great porcelain river valley that marks the end of her dark journey.

Sofia is fine and in no danger now, although she was quite upset. She was heard loudly praying in the dark last night for God to forgive her for her mistake, and please help Sacajewea come out in her poopoo.

Others have now joined in our effort to bring Sacajewea's journey to a speedy and satisfactory resolution. Today, Sofia's kinder-plus teacher strapped on surgical gloves and joined the search, although the Shoshone maiden remained elusive. Later Arthur called and suggested a potent potion of milk, cinammon, and mineral oil, to help lubricate Sacajewea's river passage. Sofia drank. She was running to the bathroom within minutes, but alas, there was no tell-tale clink in the toilet bowl, and after another gloved search, I came up empty. Well, actually, I didn't really come up empty... but let's just say I didn't find what I was looking for.

We have faith that we will see Sacajewea soon. In the mean time, hope and pray for a happy conclusion to Sacajewea's second, and most unexpected journey.


Stephen and Chris

(Stephen Thomas)

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