Monday, June 27, 2005


Can't Nuke the Liberals

While it's true that radical Republicans would like to do away with all political liberals, unfortunately you can't use nuclear weapons to do so. The reason is that the weapons are too broad-brush. They tend to kill everything in and around the locations on which they are dropped. Liberals, of course, are cunningly interspersed in our communities amidst regular conservatives and Christians who have already been born again once and don't want to have to be born yet another time after being nuked.

The reason I bring this up is that the United States currently has 10,000+ nuclear warheads, along with a shortage of enemies to use them against. The old Soviet Union is no more, and Red China is now Wal-Mart's largest trading partner (or is that the other way around?). It's true we could nuke Iran or North Korea, but there really isn't enough in both of those countries put together to require anything like 10,000 nuclear weapons. (Defeating Japan only required two. Small ones, by today's standards.) Should our last European enemy, Germany, rise up against us again, we could completely obliterate every city above the hamlet level and still have some left over.

And the reason I bring this up is that last year, the Bush administration asked Congress for money to fund more nuclear weapons. That's right, more. Here's how the Senate voted then:

A few Senators: Oh, okay, George, anything you want.
Most Senators: Are you nuts, George?

In other words, the funding initiative was turned down.

So why bring this up?

Because George and his crew just asked again. That's right, the Bush administration is AGAIN asking Congress to fund new (as in more, as in additional) nuclear weapons. Even some of the very worst hawks in Washington can't see why.

Perhaps they think they can nuke 'em some liberals. I tell you, it can't be done.

The Quotidian Meander

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